I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
24/4/14 at 0:12am
· origin · via ·
W I N T E R   I S   C O M I N G

(Source: lady-arryn)

24/4/14 at 0:08am
· origin · via ·

1. Girls Shalt Not Have Sex.
(someone asked me what the guy word for ‘slut’ is
and I couldn’t find an answer.
it’s an old story: a rumour goes around that so-and-so
blew a boy in the disabled toilets.
the girl fakes a cough to get herself sent home
to escape the classroom-wide hiss of ‘slut’
while the boy she blew walks into the same class
and is greeted by an onslaught of high-fives)

2. Girls Shalt Love Boys.
(when I was ten, there was a movie trailer where two girls
leaned in for a kiss, and I felt sick for the rest of the day.
it took four years
along with faux-casual questions to friends
useless quizzes on the internet
entries in a diary that I later scribbled out
to admit, fine, okay, yes,
and another year after that to say it without mumbling)

3. Girls Shalt Not Be Bitches.
(it took over ten years of school for me to realize
my women teachers got called bitches
for doing things that my male teachers got called efficient for.
we were assigned to a group project in science class
and whenever my friend tried to tell the others to quiet down
so they could get on with the work,
she was jeered into silence
and she never found it fair that her boyfriend did
the same thing and the noise stopped.)

4. Girls Shalt Have A Vagina.
(she introduced herself with a deep voice and a gushing smile.
she had a pink dress and an adam’s apple
she had a necklace resting above her cleavage
she had escaped from an all-boys high school
and I didn’t understand until I learned later
gender is more than the two rigid boxes
that we are told to tick one of)

5. Girls Shalt Smile.
(he frowned when the subject was brought up
and he shrugged a lot as he explained
that we look better when we smile. Less hostile.
His shrugs stiffened when I asked him why we shouldn’t look hostile.
‘I dunno,’ he said, dropping to a mumble. ‘Girls aren’t s’posed to look hostile, I guess.’
The next time someone walked past me on the street
and told me to smile,
I gave him my sunniest grin
and a middle finger.)

—‘Five Commandments for Being A Girl I Unlearned,’ theappleppielifestyle. (via theprophetchuckshurley)

(Source: theappleppielifestyle)

24/4/14 at 0:04am
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23/4/14 at 23:21pm
· origin · via ·

(Source: itscarts)

23/4/14 at 21:57pm
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lizinprogress:

likearumchocolatesouffle:

So, were you all aware that Great Big World has a song called Everyone Is Gay which is about how it’s okay to be whatever orientation you are? (It says a slightly untrue thing about how you shouldn’t pretend to be straight, not taking into account that there are legitimate reasons to be closeted, but other than that it’s awesome.) The video is actually the most adorable thing, with stop motion construction paper little faces and stuff, and I really like it a lot. :D

I downloaded their album first thing this morning and am LOVING it. But I heard this song and almost cried from grinning and giggling. What a delight. And the video is tons of fun.

Posted: 20 hours ago with 43 notes (Reblog)
23/4/14 at 20:49pm
· origin · via ·

ashazzminscreed:

omfgcate:

dqdbpb:

we’re halfway thru april, u know what tht means?

image

#ITS GONNA BE MAY

HOW DOES THIS MAKE ME LAUGH EVERY FUCKING YEAR!?

23/4/14 at 20:48pm
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smallcitysecrets:

pizza-party-in-the-tardis:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

smallcitysecrets:

I simultaneously feel like I’m a toddler and a thousand years old.

image

image

I can’t believe this happened to me.

23/4/14 at 17:44pm
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jk rowling’s reasoning as to why fenrir greyback turned remus into a werewolf: remus’s father insulted him so he did it as an act of revenge

the actual reason greyback bit remus: the temptation to succumb to the fact that biting remus whose name literally means ‘werewolf’ would be the greatest feat in lycanthropic irony the world had ever seen
22/4/14 at 23:38pm
· origin · via ·

voxaphone:

lmaoalien:

i am the human version of the first piece of bread

when i saw this early i just thought that this meant the first piece of bread ever created. the very first bread in all of time.

19/4/14 at 13:46pm
· origin · via ·

fjordism:

AARON PAUL JUST POSTED THIS ON TWITTER AND I’M SHITTING